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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24911638">A Wing and A Prayer</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranguvar82/pseuds/ranguvar82'>ranguvar82</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Firefly, Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), BAMF Aziraphale (Good Omens), Bickering, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley and Aziraphale Have Been Married Since Eden, Crowley is Good With Kids (Good Omens), Multi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:56:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,616</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24911638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranguvar82/pseuds/ranguvar82</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Crowley and Aziraphale are celebrating their seven thousandth anniversary with a lovely trip to Alpha Centauri. At least they think they are. <br/>Mal and his crew are coming up on one year since Miranda. They just want to live  in peace. </p><p>Fate, it seems, has different ideas. <br/>This is a tale in which two worlds collide and realize that maybe they're not so different after all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Hoban Washburne/Zoë Washburne, Kaylee Frye/Simon Tam, Malcolm Reynolds/Inara Serra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>108</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Off To Alpha Centauri At Last! Maybe.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This takes place after the Big Damn Movie, but Wash and Book lived because I want Crowley and Book to have long theological arguments, and Zoe/Wash to be the foil to our beloved Ineffable Dumbasses.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>A Wing and a Prayer</p><p> </p><p>Chapter One: Off To Alpha Centauri At Last! Maybe.</p><p> </p><p>Crowley stood back on his heels, admiring the rather nice adjustments he had made to the Bentley. Oh sure, humans had that whole ‘space travel’ thing down pat these days, what with all the terraforming they’d been doing, but there was no way in Someplace Crowley was going to use an impersonal <b>shuttle</b> for this trip. This was special. This was important. It was just missing one element. “Oi, Angel! Aren’t you packed yet?” Crowley turned towards the shop, eyes lighting up as his husband stepped out, two large tartan suitcases in his hands.</p><p> </p><p>Even now, millenia later, the demon’s heart still did the tango when he saw his angel. Aziraphale had always been the light in his dark soul. “I do hope I haven’t forgotten anything, I packed as much as I...Crowley! What have you done to your car?”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley grinned. “Made a few adjustments so she won’t shudder apart in space. Wot, you thought I would just leave her here? She’s as eager to go as we are. Isn’t that right, old girl?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I want to break free!”</em> The car radio sang, and Crowley patted her bonnet. The Bentley’s engine revved. Aziraphale stroked her windscreen, and the engine revved again.</p><p> </p><p>“I’d never dream of leaving her, my dear. Are you ready?” Aziraphale asked, tossing his bags in the back when Bentley opened her doors. Crowley nodded, then frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Almost. One thing I got to do first.” He grabbed Aziraphale’s waist and dipped him down into a passionate kiss. “Happy Anniversary, my angel.”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale blinked, dazed with happiness. “And to you too, my demon.” Smirking, Crowley opened the door for him, pleased that even after nearly 7,000 years, Aziraphale still got dizzy when kissed.</p><p> </p><p>“Right. Off we go, then!” Crowley mashed the accelerator to the floor. Aziraphale yelped and shut his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“C..Crowley, how fast do you have to go to get...um...out of orbit?”</p><p> </p><p>“No idea! Can’t wait to find out, though!”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale gripped the seat and tried his level best to not scream in horror.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Don’t stop me now, cause I’m having a good time!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“Angel, you can open your eyes and stop screaming now.”</p><p> </p><p>“NEVER! I am never opening my eyes again!”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale could <b>hear</b> the shrug. “Well, okay, but you’ll miss a real spectacular view.”</p><p> </p><p>He cracked one eye open, gasped, and opened the other one. “Oh..oh it’s been so long...”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley’s face twisted. “Yeah, it has. I’d forgotten what the stars look like from up here. Right. So, Alpha Centauri is...that way. I think.”</p><p> </p><p>“You think.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, it has been rather a long time since I’ve been in bloody space, Angel, and I don’t exactly have a star map.”</p><p> </p><p>“You made the bloody thing!”</p><p> </p><p>“Doesn’t mean I remember where it is!” Crowley sighed, resting his head on the wheel. “Thought we’d give this tradition a miss this year. Guess not.”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale leaned over and kissed his cheek. “My love, if you and I stopped bickering for more than a week you’d suggest we have our heads examined. It’s why I love you so very much.”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley blushed. “L’veyoutoo.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Meanwhile</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“River, what are you doing?” Simon followed his sister down the narrow corridors of Serenity, wondering why she was carrying a pile of blankets and pillows. “Are you moving out of our room?”</p><p> </p><p>“No. Fixing up the empty one for the Guard and his Snake.” She said, stopping at the door to the empty bunk. She pushed it open with her foot and began to make up the bed. “The Snake can be small, so they can curl up with the Guard. But the Guard doesn’t sleep anyway, because he watches all the time. They’re coming in a flying car.”</p><p> </p><p>Simon blinked. “A..flying car.”</p><p> </p><p>River nodded, fluffing the pillows. “One that sings. The Snake has had her for a thousand years. They love her very much.”</p><p> </p><p>Simon frowned. “River...snakes can’t drive. They don’t have arms.”</p><p> </p><p>“This snake does. They’re not always a snake. Sometimes they’re other things. They made all that.” She pointed towards the wall.</p><p> </p><p>“The snake...made walls?”</p><p> </p><p>River gave him a look that made him feel like the dumbest person in existence. “No, dummy. They made stars. They’re on their way to one of their stars now. Or they’re supposed to be.”</p><p> </p><p>Simon nodded. “Right. Well, have fun.” He left the room and headed for the dining hall, hoping Mal was there.</p><p> </p><p>“So, what do you think?” He asked, after telling the Captain what River had said. Mal shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds like more of your sister’s crazy ramblings. We’re thousands of light years away from civilization, there’s no way a gorram flying car is going to be out here. ‘Sides, cars can’t fly anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>Simon made a face. “I know, but she had that look that she gets when she knows she’s right about something. I thought that, after Miranda, she’d be...I don’t know, normal again.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, she ain’t as crazy, so that’s a bonus. Look, Doc, it’s probably just a game she’s playing. Let her have her fun.”</p><p> </p><p>Simon was about to reply when Wash’s voice came over the comm. “Hey Mal, you might want to come up here. Got something real interesting on screen.” The two men made their way to the bridge.</p><p> </p><p>Wash and Kaylee stared at the thing outside, looked at each other, then back at the object. “Is that a...” Wash asked. Kaylee nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Yep. That’s a car. In space.”</p><p> </p><p>Mal came over, staring with his mouth open. “Well, that’s something you don’t see every...wait just a gorram minute! It’s heading right for us! Wash, you wanna get us out of the path of the flying car?!”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, no can do! It’s locked onto us!”</p><p> </p><p>“What?! Damn it, brace for impact everyone!”</p><p> </p><p>But no impact came. Instead, Zoe’s voice came from the loading deck. “Hey Captain, you might want to get down here. We got a problem.”</p><p> </p><p>“Son of a...be right there, Zoe!”</p><p> </p><p>They left the bridge, Wash limping a bit. It had been nothing short of a miracle that he had survived being speared through the stomach. Even now, a year later, he still had trouble walking sometimes, and the scar on his stomach was a grim reminder of what he had endured.</p><p> </p><p>On the loading deck, chaos reigned. Zoe and Jayne were glaring daggers at the new arrivals, Inara looked curious, Book was looking like he’d just had all of life’s questions answered, and River was staring serenely, humming a tune.</p><p> </p><p>“For the last time, tell us how you got on this ship!” Jayne said, menacingly brandishing Vera.</p><p> </p><p>“I. Don’t. Bloody. Know!” That was new arrival one, a tall skinny fella wearing dark glasses. “I had the bloody GPS programmed perfectly, I know I did!”</p><p> </p><p>“Dear, could it perhaps have gotten rehabilitated?” That was new arrival two, a shorter guy who looked like an English professor in an old movie Mal had seen once. New Arrival One groaned.</p><p> </p><p>“Re-calibrated, Angel. And no. There’ no way!”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, you’ve said that before. When was it? ‘Oh, no , Aziraphale, there’s no way this tower’s going to cause any trouble. None at all.”</p><p> </p><p>“Y..you..are you blaming me for the bloody Tower of Babel?!”</p><p> </p><p>“I know very well you helped the architect with the plans! You missed three dinner dates! I was livid!”</p><p> </p><p>“I made it up to you, didn’t I?! The oysters?!”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmmph, and you complained the whole time about how slimy they were.”</p><p> </p><p>“Because they are slimy! I don’t see how you can eat them!”</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me...” Mal started to speak, then closed his mouth as the two kept going.</p><p> </p><p>“Just because you have the palate of an unrefined seven year old...”</p><p> </p><p>“Oi, that’s rich, coming from the one that’s not changed his style in over a millenia!”</p><p> </p><p>“My sartorial choices are perfectly fine, thank you!”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, sure, if you like dressing two thousand years out of fashion!”</p><p> </p><p>“EXCUSE ME!” Mal glared at the two when they <b>finally</b> stopped arguing and stared at him, looking rather affronted. “You two mind shutting up and telling me what the gorram hell is going on?”</p><p> </p><p>“They’re the Snake.” River spoke for the first time. Tall Guy looked at her, mouth open. “And he’s the Guard.” She pointed to English Professor, then looked over at Simon. “Told you they were coming.”</p><p> </p><p>“How did you know…?” Snake Guy whispered, staring at her. River stared right back. Snake Guy grinned. “Aren’t you the clever one. I like clever ones. Right, I suppose introductions are in order. I’m Crowley, the Serpent of Eden and the Original Tempter. This is Aziraphale, former Guardian of the Eastern Gate and ex-Principality. He’s also my husband.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re a demon.” Crowley looked over at the man that had spoken. A shepherd. Great.</p><p> </p><p>“...Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>The shepherd nodded, then pointed to Aziraphale. “You’re an angel.” A nod. “And you’re...married.”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley grinned. “Have been for about seven thousand years now. Minute we met on that wall, I knew he was the one.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just a minute!” Mal said. The...odd couple looked over at him. “Angels and demons ain’t real.”</p><p> </p><p>“Should we show him, dear?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think that’s for the best, Angel.”</p><p> </p><p>Shouts of shock erupted as wings burst from their backs, one set white and one set black. “Believe us now?” White wings asked, looking rather smug.</p><p> </p><p>“...Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Getting to Know You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Introductions are made and a surprising connection is discovered.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Two: Getting To Know You</p><p> </p><p>There was a long, awkward silence in which Aziraphale fidgeted, Crowley somehow managed to lounge in thin air and look bored out of his skull, Book looked like he was torn between wanting to spout a dozen questions and wanting to turn and run the opposite way, Simon tried to figure out how these visitors had <b>wings</b><span>, Jayne tried to look menacing(only to earn a roll of the eyes from Crowley), Kaylee looked at the Bentley in awe and wonder, Mal tried to determine if the new arrivals were a threat(and also to studiously ignore the very large wings)and River just...watched. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The silence stretched like taffy. Nervous, fidgety taffy. To the surprise of none of the Serenity’s crew, it was Inara who broke the silence. Striding gracefully forward, she stuck out her hand. “I’m Inara. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Aziraphale?” Aziraphale nodded, then took her hand and bowed at the waist, bestowing a kiss on her knuckles. “Oh. How charming you are.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Delighted to meet you, Madam. I must say, I have not seen a lady quite as lovely as you in many centuries. May I inquire as to your purpose on this ship?” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mal rolled his eyes. “She’s a whore, actually.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inara turned and glared at him. “You know I hate when you call me that. I am a courtesan, Guild trained.” This was addressed to Aziraphale, who looked delighted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Oh, how wonderful. My Crowley was a courtesan, in, where was it darling?”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley lounged more. “Athens, Angel. It was in Athens, and I was only one for a few weeks.” He grinned at Inara. “I was darn good at it, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>You were.” Aziraphale batted his eyes at his demon, who smiled that special, soft smile reserved only for his angel. “Miss Inara, this is my spouse, Crowley.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Enchante.” Crowley bowed. “Love the dress, by the way. You got more like it?” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inara blinked. “Er, yes. Why?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley grinned. “Might want to try them on. That okay?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inara smiled and nodded. She was very used to men that enjoyed dressing up in what was traditionally considered women’s apparel. “I would be delighted to show you my selection. I am sure we could find one that would suit your frame.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kaylee stepped forward. “Excuse me, Mr. Crowley?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley made a face. “Just Crowley, kid. What’s up?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Could I…?” She looked over at the Bentley, and Crowley smiled. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>You want to see my baby? Go right ahead.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grinning, Kaylee went over to the Bentley, placing her hand on the bonnet. The engine revved loudly, and Kaylee jerked her hand back. Crowley came over, placing a hand on the driver side door. “Easy there, old girl. This one is alright. She’s got a gift for this sort of thing.” He looked over at the very surprised Kaylee. “Unless I miss my guess, you’re the one that keeps the ship running.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kaylee blushed. “All’s I do is listen to her and take care of things.” </span>
  <span>Crowley smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>That’s more than enough, trust me. Now, go on and pat Bentley again. She won’t growl at you, I promise.” Kaylee reached out, stroking the bonnet. “What’s her name?” Crowley asked, waving his hand around. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Serenity,” Kaylee answered, still stroking the Bentley, which was revving her engine in a sound almost like a purr. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Bentley, say hello to Serenity,” Crowley instructed. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<em><span>I see a little silhouette of a man!”</span></em><span> The radio sang out, and Crowley giggled. “It’s how she talks. Through Queen songs.” He felt a pair of eyes on his back and turned, gazing at River. “Oh, it’s the Clever One. You got a name?” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>River. Why are you hiding?” She asked, giving him a look that was very familiar. “You shouldn’t hide. Hiding is for kids.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley sighed. “Because I don’t want to scare everyone else.” River snorted. “Clever Girl, you are far too clever.” He reached up and took off his glasses, blinking against the light, then opened his eyes. River nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Now you aren’t hiding.” She turned to Aziraphale. “Your eyes are open but no one else can see them. How many do you have? As many as the stars </span><span>they made</span><span>?” </span><span>She pointed to Crowley, who looked delighted. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale blinked. “Not quite that many.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Clever Girl, how did you know I…?” Crowley asked. River shrugged. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>You don’t feel like a boy or girl. You can be both, or you can be nothing.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Uhh..’scuse me...” Wash stepped up. “Hoban Washburne, call me Wash. This lovely lady is my one and only, Zoe. What’d she mean, you can be nothing?” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale bowed in greeting. “Well, we, as in angels and demons, don’t actually have gender as you mortals define it. At the moment, Crowley and I look like men because that’s how we choose to present ourselves at this time. I tend to stay in a male presenting form because it’s the one I’m most comfortable with. Crowley, on the other hand, has never bothered with just one gender presentation. There’s days when she’s a woman, and days when they’re both or neither. But they’re still a wily serpent.” Crowley blushed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>So if you don’t look like this,” Mal said, hand waving to indicate the whole package, wings included, “what do you look like?”</span></p><p>“<span>Light and dark and very big, too big to see without.” River said, and Aziraphale nodded. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>The young lady is right, Captain. Our true forms are far too awful for your minds to conceive.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Can’t be that ugly,” Jayne said. “Hell, I probably seen uglier.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Awful: inspiring awe and fear,” River recited. Crowley grinned. “Not ugly, just not comprehensible to normal minds. But minds that flow like a river can see without worry.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Clever Girl, your mind should not flow like that.” Crowley said, kneeling down so he was eye level with River. “What made it so?” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Miranda came and stuck her secret in my head, but then it was dug out. But before Miranda River flowed a different way, until Simon made </span><span>the hurt go away. Simon rescued River.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Simon spoke. “She...was being...experimented on.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley’s eyes went red. “She. What.” He met River’s gaze. “Clever Girl, will you allow my angel to look into that clever mind?” River nodded, and Aziraphale came over, knelt in front of her, and gently placed his fingers on her temple. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He jerked them back seconds later, looking thunderous. “Oh, you poor child. So much has been stolen from you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>I got other things back. I have a family. Miranda is no longer eating me, and the dreams aren’t scary. They told me the Guard and his Snake were coming.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale and Crowley held a silent conversation. “Oi, Doc!” Crowley motioned Simon over. “Your sister, she have dreams a lot?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Err, about as much as most people, I guess. Why?” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale spoke next. “Have you ever noticed if those dreams come true? For instance, has she told you something that sounded like nonsense, only for it to happen later?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mal snorted. “Az...whatever your name is, up ‘till about a year ago, everything out of this girl’s mouth was nonsense.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Simon glared at him. “Well...there have been a few times, yes. Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley grinned. “Tell me, Doc, you know much about your ancestors?” Simon shook his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>No, why?” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale smiled. “Because unless Crowley and I miss our guess, you two are descended from one Anathema Device, witch, who was descended from Agnes Nutter, also a witch and the writer of The Nice And Accurate Prophecies, a book which contained the only collection of true prophecies in existence. It would explain why River knows things she shouldn’t.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>River is not a witch!” Simon yelled, and Aziraphale held up a hand. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>No, but she is descended from two exceptional ones, ones that helped save the world. And if it helps any, Anathema and her husband Newt lived to a ripe old age and had scads of children.”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>And Agnes?”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley mimicked the sound of an explosion. “Stuffed her petticoats full of gunpowder and nails, then let herself be burnt.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The mortals looked rather impressed at that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Later that night</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>So, what do you think of them?” Aziraphale asked, sitting down on the bunk. The room River had made up for them was small, but they’d been in smaller, and the bed was rather comfy. Crowley sat next to him. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Yeah, they’re alright. The one, wossername, Inara, she’s gonna show me her wardrobe tomorrow. Also wanted to ask you if you’d have tea with her.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Oh, I’d be delighted! What do you make of the captain?” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Ehh, he’s grumpy, but he’s okay. I really like Sunshine Girl, though. She’s like you in mortal form, all cheery and just, nice. Think I might let her look around Bentley.” Crowley shed his shirt, tossing it aside. “The others are okay too. Growly Man’s a bit annoying, but Warrior Lady and the Pilot are a lot of fun. Sort of remind me of us, in a way. </span><span>The Shepherd seems like a decent enough sort.”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>And River?” </span><span>Aziraphale asked, undressing and climbing under the covers.</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley shimmied out of his pants and joined Aziraphale. “Ahh. She’s a mystery.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Well, if anyone can solve it, it’s you, my clever demon. Now, if you would be so kind as to miracle this bunk to be soundproof...” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley snapped his fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Dining, Dresses, and Drinking, Oh My!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Crowley and Aziraphale have Opinions about the food, war is discussed, drinks are had, and Crowley plays dress up.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Three: Dining, Dresses and Drinking, Oh My!</p><p> </p><p>Crowley reached out a finger and poked at the...brown stuff on the plate in front of him. It squelched, and he yanked his finger back. Next to him, Aziraphale was staring at the glop as if expecting it to come to life and attack him. “Do they really expect us to eat this...this...lump?” He whispered to his husband. Crowley made a face, looking around the table at the others, who were scarfing down the bit of sick as if it was a luxury dinner at the Ritz.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, Angel, ‘s’not as if we actually <b>need</b><span> to eat, you know.” Crowley picked up a bit of the whatever it was, sniffing it. “Oh, YECH. Well, here goes nothing.” He pinched his nose shut, threw the not-food into his mouth, and gulped it down. “Oh Bless it, that is vile.” He rubbed his tongue, grimacing. “How in Heaven can you lot eat this? It’s the most horrific thing I’ve ever put in my mouth!” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jayne speared a large piece on his plate. “Ain’t that bad, really. You just don’t think about what you’re eating, and it’s not too bad.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale grimaced. “Well, you’ve tried it, so...” he picked up a piece and tossed it in his mouth. “Oh dear HER! Oh, I think I shall be sick!” Aziraphale gagged, coughed, and swallowed. “Oh my...Crowley, I need a very strong drink, please.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mal pushed a bottle across the table. Aziraphale sniffed it. “I said a drink, not the liquefied form of whatever that vile food is. Don’t you have any wine?” Blank stares. “Oh, very well.” He took a sip. “Ech. Well, at least it’s alcohol. Crowley, want some?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Sure, pass it over.” Aziraphale handed the bottle over, and Crowley took a swig, smacking his lips. “Ehh, it’s pretty horrific, but we’ve had worse. Remember 1326? Amsterdam?” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Oh, you mean when we had that homemade wine? Oh, yes, that was rather bad. Though it wasn’t in Amsterdam, dear. It was in Crete.”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>No no, Crete was when you got drunk off that fellow’s homemade mead and got arrested for running naked down the road yelling about how you were an angel and here to bless everyone.”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>I never, that was you! You pretended to be an angel. And anyway, that was in 1289, not 1326.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>I had to come bail you out of jail, Angel. I remember that...wait. Umm...”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale blushed. “Oh dear. It was both of us, wasn’t it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley grimaced. “Yeah. We were both pretty off our heads.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Hold up a second.” Wash spoke up(the Serenity crew had been listening to this exchange with open mouths) “Angels and demons can get drunk?!” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Yes.” Crowley said. “Why?” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>How much does it take?” Simon asked, looking every inch the curious doctor. Crowley shrugged.</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Depends on how strong the drink is. We’ve got a much higher tolerance for it than you lot, </span><span>and we’ve got the advantage of being able to sober up like that.” He snapped his fingers. “Course, sobering up isn’t exactly the most pleasant of experiences either.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>What’s a demon need to get drunk for anyway?” Zoe asked. Crowley grimaced. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Lots of things. Mainly to...alleviate the pain of Falling, the memories of...who I once was. And of the War.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>What war?” Malcolm asked, looking intrigued. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>The War.” Aziraphale answered, taking his husband’s hand. “The First War, the great battle between Lucifer and Michael for the very throne of Heaven itself. My love and I were on opposite sides.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>I never fought.” Crowley said, looking at the table. “I never wanted to Fall, never wanted any of it. I just asked questions, and that was enough. I made stars! I’m not a fighter. I was just...”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>In the wrong place at the wrong time.” Inara said in sympathy. Crowley nodded. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>If...I may ask, what was it like? Falling?” Book asked. Crowley looked over at him. He rather liked this Shepherd. The night before, Book had asked him and Aziraphale both some very piercing and intelligent questions about God, the nature of belief, and if humans really had as much Free Will as they thought. Crowley, who of course had </span><b>opinions</b><span> about what God was really like(no, he still hadn’t forgiven Her and most likely never would) had argued hotly with Book’s idea of a kind and merciful deity who only wanted what was best. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though he rather did like Book’s assertion that having faith in something didn’t always mean God. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Horrible. You can’t scream, because your breath is gone. Your wings, once white, are turning black from being on fire. You’re tumbling, over and over, going faster, until you’re nothing but a streak of fire. Then the sulfur pool. You can’t breathe, it’s choking you, and you’re still burning. </span><span>It took me nearly a hundred years to crawl out of it. I think. Time doesn’t exist in Hell. It took another hundred for my wings to grow back. After that, Lucifer came and told me to go up to the newly made Earth, and I quote, ‘cause some trouble.’” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>And that’s where we met,” Aziraphale smiled at his husband, kissing him on the cheek. Crowley blushed. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Was it love at first sight?” Kaylee asked eagerly. Aziraphale grinned. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Pretty much, yes. Crowley was just so...lovely. And polite, and funny.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Was not.” Crowley mumbled, the smile on his face betraying his feelings. “Sides, how could I not fall for an angel that gave away his holy weapon to the humans? He had a flaming sword,” Crowley said to the rest of the table, “and </span><span>rather than use it to guard, he gives it away to Adam and Eve to keep them safe outside of Eden.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale sighed. “Yes, and sometimes I still wonder if I did the right thing. Without the humans having my sword, War would never...have existed.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Angel. We’ve had this discussion before. Your sword didn’t create War. War existed before that. She was just made manifest by the human’s will, like all the Horsepeople. Well..except for Azrael. He’s always Been.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Azrael?” Zoe asked. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Shadow of Creation.” River spoke for the first time. “Opposite, can’t ever be destroyed without destroying it all.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Angel of Death.” Crowley clarified. “Nice enough bloke when he’s not being Summoned to end the world.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Wait, you talking about Earth that Was?” Mal interjected. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Earth that is, more like.” Aziraphale said, looking at the gobsmacked faces. “Oh, it’s still there. Humans have abandoned it for the most part, but there’s still a few left. Most were neutral during the Alliance/Independence War, too.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>And...what about you two?” Zoe asked. Aziraphale looked over at her. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Both Crowley and I have seen more wars than you, child. Fought in some as well. We know full well the toll they take. But if you’re asking who</span><span>se </span><span>side we’re on, we’re on nobody’s but our own. We made that decision </span><span>eons ago. War is pointless, no matter who the winners are.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>I was on the losing side of the Greatest War ever,” Crowley said. “It took everything from me. I don’t know if I would make the same choices as I did before, and even if I did, who knows if the outcome would be the same? This ship, Serenity. You named it after that battle, right? Serenity Valley?” Mal nodded. “It made news, you know. Brave Independence soldiers sharing their rations with the Allied soldiers as they valiantly waited for help to arrive, a gesture of brotherhood and friendship. I’m going to take a guess that it wasn’t like that.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>No,” Mal whispered, looking over at Zoe. “It wasn’t.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>It never is.” Aziraphale said. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Later that day/night/whenever</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inara turned at the knock on her door. “Oh, Crowley! Come in, please. I’ve picked out a few dresses that I think would go wonderfully with your height and complexion.” Crowley stepped into the shuttle, eyeing up the dresses that Inara had laid out on the bed. She held up a dark red one. “I thought maybe we could try this one first. It goes wonderfully with your hair, I think. Oh, and don’t feel shy about undressing. I’ve seen many naked men before.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley grinned, then snapped his fingers. Inara’s mouth fell open as </span>
  <span>Crowley’s clothes vanished,</span>
  <span> the red hair lengthened and curled, the hips got curvier, breasts appeared, and the features softened. Crowley lifted up her hands and braided her hair, </span>
  <span>then grinned. “There. Much better. Not that I don’t enjoy wearing dresses in my male form, but for clothing this lovely, I think this form suits best. Don’t you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inara blinked, then smiled. “Of course. Now, would you like to try this on?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale was in the middle of a very lively debate with Simon on the merits of dolphins(both the doctor and the angel were quite drunk, Simon a bit more so) when Inara came over and announced that she had a surprise. Aziraphale blinked blearily, and Inara stepped aside. Aziraphale sat up so fast that Simon blinked in shock. The angel purged the alcohol from his system and stared open mouthed at the gorgeous sight in front of him. “C..Crowley?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley smiled, running her hand down the wine red dress. “What do you think, Angel? Does it suit me?” She adjusted her decolletage, showing off her pert breasts to their full effect. Aziraphale tried his level best to not drool. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Whossat?” Simon asked, blinking. “Looks like Crwley.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>It is me, Doc. Just in a different shape. D’you like the dress, Angel?” She let a bit of it fall off her shoulders. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale leapt off the couch and grabbed Crowley, lifting her off her feet and carrying her down the hall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>We’ll be in our bunk!” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inara giggled to herself. “Guess he liked it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Never Try To Out Drink A Demon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jayne challenges Crowley to a drinking contest. It goes about as well as you would expect.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Four: Never Try To Out Drink a Demon</p><p> </p><p>“Jayne, I don’t know as this is a good idea,” Mal said, watching warily as Jayne gathered up all the bottles of alcohol he could find, setting them on the dining table. “That one fella, Azi, Doc says he drank enough to fell three grown men twice his size and was fine and frisky the next morning.”</p><p> </p><p>Jayne rearranged the bottles. “Yeah, but look at him. He’s got a bit of fat to him. That other one, Crowley, he’s about as skinny as a pole. There ain’t no way he c’n hold as much as the other one. ‘Sides, it’s just going to be a friendly contest. What’s the harm?”</p><p> </p><p>“You have got to be joking.” Crowley was rarely surprised, but they had to admit, this was throwing them. They looked at the bottles, at the smirking Jayne, then back to the bottles. “A drinking contest. You want to have a drinking contest.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yep.” Jayne said.</p><p> </p><p>“With a demon.”</p><p> </p><p>Jayne smiled. “Yep. Unless you’re scared to.”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley scoffed. “I have faced scarier things than an idiot who thinks he can outdrink me. Set ‘em up, Cobb.”</p><p> </p><p>Jayne smirked and opened the first bottle, pouring two glasses. He passed one over to Crowley, who knocked it back and swallowed the contents in one gulp before slamming the glass back down. “That is some seriously vile shit.”</p><p> </p><p>Jayne poured them another round. Crowley knocked that back just as quickly. “Ecch. Come on, what are you waiting for? Judgment Day’s already happened. Come on, pour.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did it? When?” Jayne asked, pouring a third round. He fumbled his glass, nearly spilling it, and watched as Crowley drank the third drink just as fast as the other two.</p><p> </p><p>Crowley hiccuped. “Oh, ‘bout...two thousand years ago. I think. We were there, me and m’Angel. T’lked...to Antichrist. I stopped time!” They declared proudly, blinking at their empty glass. “Y’know, this stuff in...is...’s pretty nice once you’re used ta it. Gimme ‘nother.”</p><p> </p><p>Jayne obligingly poured them a fourth round, holding his hand steady with his other hand. “Yeah. it’s pretty good. Cap’n doesn’t like us drinking on duty though.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wot duty? Wot’s your job, Scowling?”</p><p> </p><p>Jayne blinked at the two Crowleys in front of him. “M Public relations. The muscle.”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley motioned for more. Jayne poured. Crowley drank. “Yeah? Pubic...hic..public rela..rela...what you said. Pay good?”</p><p> </p><p>Jayne opened up another bottle, drinking straight from it. “Yea, s’okay. Cap’n...paid better than the group I used to...be with. G’t my own bunk, too.” He passed an unopened bottle to Crowley, who knocked the top off and drained the contents. “Goddamn.”</p><p> </p><p>“In..indibuta...in...yep. Damn God indeed. She’s a right bitch sometimes.”</p><p> </p><p>“God’s a she?”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley fumbled for another bottle, barely managing to pick it up. “Gen...gande...got no gender, really. S’metimes...fem...fimi...feminimenem. Still bitch. But!” They held up one finger. “Made dolphins. And whales. Big brains, whales. Also m’de pe...peop...you lot. Adam n Eve. Nice people.” Crowley leaned forward. “I did it, y’know. Made Eve eat the apple.”</p><p> </p><p>Jayne blinked. “Wot apple?”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley sighed and grabbed another bottle. “THE Apple. The one on the great big tree. D’dn’t you go t’Sunday school?” Jayne nodded. “Right. So y’learned all ‘bout the serpent, right?” Another nod, and Crowley puffed out their skinny chest. “Tha’s me. Ser...serpi..bloody great snake.”</p><p> </p><p>Jayne snorted. “You ain’t no snake.”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley glared at him. It was somewhat mitigated by the fact that the demon was completely plastered. “Am. Can show you.” They stood up, wobbling. “W’tch this.”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale was in Inara’s shuttle, having a very lovely conversation about art and books while having a very scrummy tea, when the scream echoed through the ship. Inara looked around, startled. “That almost sounded like Jayne!”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale, who had a <b>very</b><span> good guess as to the source of the screaming, sighed and stood up. “My dear, I am afraid we shall have to put off this lovely tea and even lovelier conversation for another time. I have to go scold my spouse.” He kissed her cheek and left the shuttle. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time he reached the dining area, Aziraphale was seething mad. Damn him, Crowley knew better than to go into his serpent form around people who weren’t used to it! Oh, Aziraphale was going to give him what for! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sight that greeted him as he turned a corner and arrived was rather funny, though. Jayne was on the table, eyes wide with terror. Coiled under him was all fifty feet of his serpent, looking up at Jayne with an ‘I told you so’ expression. Empty bottles littered the table. Aziraphale rubbed his face. “Crowley, are you drunk?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Jussst a bit, Angel.” Crowley hissed, and Jayne’s eyes somehow got bigger. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>He can </span><b>talk?</b><span>” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “Of course they can.” He knelt in front of Crowley. “Don’t suppose you could sober up?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Not assss a ssssnake, you know that.” Crowley hissed, trying to figure out which of the three Aziraphales was their husband. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Then change back, dearest.”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Sssorry, don’t want to.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Crowley...” Aziraphale’s voice carried a hint of warning.”If you don’t change back this minute...”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Ssssoo...the thing iss...” Crowley hissed, somehow managing to blush, “sseeems like I vanisshed my...clothessss when I changed. C’n feel it.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale pinched the bridge of his nose. “You cannot be serious.” Crowley did a snakey shrug. “This is why you do not change into your serpent form when drunk.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Ssssory.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale sighed and held out his arms. Crowley slithered up into them, and Aziraphale stood. Crowley coiled around his body, letting their head rest on top of the angel’s. “Ssscare you, did I?” they asked </span>
  <span>Jayne.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Nah, just startled me.” Jayne slid off the table. Crowley hissed in laughter. “I wasn’t scared!”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “I heard your screaming all the way in Miss Inara’s shuttle.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jayne smirked. “What were you doing in there, huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale glared at him. “Not that it is any of your business, but we were having a rather lovely tea and some civilized conversation, which I’ve noticed is in short supply on this vessel. Miss Inara is a very cultured lady.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jayne snorted. Aziraphale turned and headed out of the room. He was halfway down the hall when Mal stopped him. “Hey Azi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Aziraphale, Captain. My name is Aziraphale.”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mal shrugged. “Yeah, okay. That scream earlier. Was that Jayne?” Mal looked almost...amused. Then he blinked, did a double take, and blinked again. “Is that a snake?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Yes it was, and yes, they are. This is Crowley.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Huh.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>If you will excuse us, Captain, I really need to get Crowley to our bunk. They’re not feeling well.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mal stepped aside, watching as the two passengers(well, one passenger and one snake) headed down the corridor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Book was in the infirmary helping Simon with inventory. “Mal, hello.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Hey Shepherd, did you know Crowley could turn into a snake?”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Book nodded, sorting through the lasers. “It makes sense, seeing as he’s the Serpent of Eden.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Ruddy big snake.” Mal said. Book smiled. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>I would imagine so.”</span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale glared in fond exasperation at the now human shaped demon. “And how are we feeling?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley made a face as they sobered up. “Much better.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Good. Now, get over here.” </span></p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Never Judge A Warrior By His Softness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>On a trip planet-side, Zoe, River, and the husbands run into some trouble.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Five: Never Judge A Warrior By His Softness</p><p> </p><p>“Do we have to go?” Crowley whined, wrapping himself tighter around his husband. “Can’t we just use this opportunity to have very loud and filthy sex on the bridge?”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale rolled his eyes as he sorted through his luggage looking for something to cover his head with. Mal had told them that this planet they were landing on had a climate much like that of the deserts back on Earth. Aziraphale, who had of course spent a great deal of time in the Middle East, had changed his normal garb for something more comfortable. Now if only he could find a turban. “Crowley, if you honestly think that I am going to pass up the chance to see a new planet, meet the inhabitants...”</p><p> </p><p>“Eat the food.”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale gently shoved him off. “Yes, that too. Now, are you going to change to something more comfortable or are you going to sacrifice yourself to the fashion gods once again?” He raked an appreciative gaze up and down his husband’s lean, lithe form in the tight pants he always wore. “Not that I mind either way, but everyone is waiting on us.”</p><p> </p><p>With a long suffering sigh, Crowley snapped his fingers and his garb changed into a black robe and turban. “Feels weird, wearing this stuff.”</p><p> </p><p>“Indeed. Come on.”</p><p> </p><p>Mal stood from where he had been leaning against the ship when the two passengers arrived. “Bout time. You two ready?” A collective nod. “Good. Now, rules. . Zoe, you got them for this trip. Make sure they don’t do nothing stupid. Jayne and I got some business to attend to. The rest of you, don’t get in too much trouble. We meet back here in four hours. Got it?”</p><p> </p><p>Everyone nodded, and the parties set off in opposite directions, River falling in with Zoe and the angel and demon. She fell into step with Crowley, who looked over and grinned at her. River smiled back. “You haven’t dressed up in a long time,” she said, practically skipping to keep up with Crowley’s long stride. He slowed a bit, matching her pace. “It hurts you, because you remember the day He died.”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley nodded. “He was a good person. Didn’t deserve what happened. Is the Shepherd?” He left the question hanging, knowing that River, clever as she was, would know the answer. She nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Mal was, but then Serenity happened and he stopped. The others maybe.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you, Clever Girl?”</p><p> </p><p>“Tried fixing Book’s Bible once. Made no sense logically.” Crowley blinked at her before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. River looked a bit shocked, then smiled back.</p><p> </p><p>“Clever Girl, you aren’t just clever, you’re downright diabolical! Take it from someone who knows, the Bible does indeed make no sense. Well, it was written by humans, so how could it. You lot aren’t supposed to know everything about everything. I knew I liked you for a reason.”</p><p> </p><p>River grinned. “You are a nice demon.” Crowley made a face, then smiled at her.</p><p>“Yeah, but don’t tell anyone, okay?” River giggled and mimed zipping her lips.</p><p> </p><p>They walked on a bit more, talking about nothing, not really paying attention, so when Crowley ran straight into Zoe’s back, he was a bit surprised. “Oof! Sorry Warrior Lady. Uh..why’d we stop?”</p><p> </p><p>Zoe was in full alert mode. Crowley recognized the stance from seeing Aziraphale in it many times. Right now, his angel just looked concerned. “Angel, what’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>“I..I don’t know. I keep feeling...something. Can’t tell what it is, though. Crowley love, you’re so much better at the, well, negative emotions than me. Could you?”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley expanded his senses, casting outward. Suddenly, he cried out and nearly fell. Aziraphale caught him. “Crowley!”</p><p> </p><p>“M okay, Angel. That’s uh...that’s a lot of rage coming this way. Rage, and hate, and ooh my head...”</p><p> </p><p>River and Zoe looked at each other in terror and spoke a single word.</p><p> </p><p>“Reavers.”</p><p> </p><p>Zoe snapped into action. “Right. We gotta go, <b>now.</b><span> Aziraphale, think you can handle a bit of running?” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale was about to answer when out of nowhere something slammed into Zoe, knocking her back. She screamed in fright and clubbed whatever it was with her gun before pulling the trigger and sending it blasting backwards. There was a roar, and Zoe looked up as a whole pack of Reavers came running towards them. “Shit! We’re too late, they’re coming! River, get those two to safety then get back and help me! I’ll hold them off as long as I can!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley and Aziraphale watched as more of the creatures came running towards them. “What...what are they?” the demon asked. The amount of rage and hate he was feeling was making him dizzy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Reavers.” River said. She looked over to Aziraphale. “Time to protect.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale blinked, then smiled. “Indeed. Keep an eye on Crowley, please.” River nodded, and Aziraphale strode forward. Zoe turned and yelled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Stay back! They’ll kill you before you have a chance!” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale smiled serenely/ “Oh, I don’t think so.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>I know so! No offense, but you don’t exactly look like the fighting type!” Zoe yelled, punching a Reaver hard in the jaw. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale stood in front of her. “Yes, that’s true. But there’s an old Earth saying. Never judge a book by its cover. Or in my case, an angel by his softness. Do you know what a Principality’s job is?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>No!”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale smiled like an angel. “We protect.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His wings burst from his back, glowing white and gleaming. His eyes opened, </span>
  <span>all thousand of them, glowing blue. He reached behind his back and pulled his Sword out of the ether, giving it a shake. It burst into Holy Flame, and Aziraphale twirled it, then waded into the Reavers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zoe watched, open mouthed, as the angel she had dismissed a bit as ‘fussy’ scythed through the Reavers like they were made of paper. She hadn’t seen fighting that precise since, well, never. Aziraphale was relentless. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When it was over, he wrenched his wings back in and stood staring down at one of the bodies. “They were human?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley came over, looking down, and shook his head. “No. Maybe once, but...no.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Reavers.” Zoe said, still in shock. “You heard River talk about Miranda, right?” The angel nodded. “It was a planet. Alliance decided they were going to test this new drug, make it so nobody would fight. A utopia. They put it in the air filtration.”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Let me guess,” Crowley said bitterly, “it worked.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zoe nodded. Even a year later, the sight of those bodies still haunted her. “Yeah. People stopped fighting. They also stopped everything else. When we got there, we found hundreds of bodies just...lying there. The whole planet let themselves die.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>And..these?” Aziraphale indicated the Reavers. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Some of the population had a...different reaction. Turned into Reavers.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>How do you know all this?” Crowley asked. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Rescue team. Left a recording, and we sent it out. Wasn’t easy. I...I nearly lost Wash. Spear got him in the stomach. I thought he was dead.” Zoe blinked back tears. “Took him nearly a month to wake up.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale smiled. He had of course sensed the love between the pilot and the warrior, as well as between Kaylee and the Doctor. But there was one that he couldn’t quite pinpoint. He knew one half of it came from the captain, but he wasn’t quite sure about the other half. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Zoe, you guys okay?!” Mal was running towards them. He stopped dead at the sight of the dead Reavers. “I...guess you are. River, good job.” River shook her head. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Not me. The Guard protected.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mal looked skeptical. Zoe spoke up. “She’s telling the truth, Captain. Aziraphale did all of it. I’ve never seen fighting that graceful before.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Huh. Well, aren’t you a fountain of surprises. Come on, let’s get back to the ship.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inara was waiting for them, concern on her face. “Mal, you okay? I heard Wash say there were Reavers.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>I’m fine, ‘Nara. You don’t need to worry about me, you know. I can look after myself.”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inara glared at him. “I know that, you idiot, but that doesn’t mean I can’t worry about you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale looked at them both, then grinned. Ahh. So </span>
  <b>that</b>
  <span> was where the other flash of love was coming from. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How </span>
  <b>very</b>
  <span> interesting. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Bonding of Mechanics</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Crowley had been attached to only a handful of humans through the years.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Six: The Bonding of Mechanics</p><p> </p><p>Crowley had met only a handful of humans that he truly, actively liked. Cleopatra had been one of them. So had Emperor Claudius(though to be fair, anyone halfway sane in that family was in his good books.) He had liked Book Girl and Lizard Boy quite a lot, and somehow found himself roped into spawn sitting duty when they had their passel of offspring. The Them were pretty neat too, and Adam, once he gave up his Antichrist powers, was a lot of fun. Especially since Crowley no longer worried about getting blinked out of existence.</p><p> </p><p>Tracy he got along with well enough, but he had never forgiven Shadwell for his part in discoporating his husband.</p><p> </p><p>Now, centuries after even Adam’s grandchildren were dead and gone, he found himself growing attached to a few more humans.</p><p> </p><p>The first one was River. That was a bit understandable. She had wit, wisdom, and had been through hell that few others could understand. Crowley, who had been through <b>literal</b><span> Hell, latched on to her. He understood the pain of facing a world that seemed harsh and cruel, a world that would take something from you simply because of what you were. He had taken her under both his proverbial and literal wing, and even Mal was remarking about how much more normal and happy she seemed. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They would sit for hours outside Serenity(a small miracle assuring that River didn’t need a space suit and that she wouldn’t go flying out into space-though Crowley had assured a very worried Simon that he would catch her before that could happen) as Crowley pointed out all the stars he had made, telling River their names and how long it had taken him to craft each one. And while he could no longer create, he still remembered the way his hands had moved, and he guided River’s hands in a pattern that would forever be burned in his mind. “Watch, little one. You hold them in your hand like this...” he said, gently cupping his hand around River’s smaller one. “And then you concentrate. Imagine what you want. You were taught that stars are balls of gas, right?” River nodded, entranced. “Well, that’s both true and not. There is explosion and expansion involved, but what’s more important is the artistry of it. To be able to reach into the nothing, pull it into your core, and make something beautiful. That </span>
  <span>is what stars are. Beauty.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>And the constellations?”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley had laughed softly. “The humans made those. They looked up into my stars and they saw pictures in them. If that’s not a testament to art, I don’t know what is. Now, look to your right, little one, and tell me what you see.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>River had gasped in delight at the meteor shower, her eyes lighting up like a small child’s on Christmas morning. Crowley reached out and plucked a burning meteor from the shower. It pulsed, glowing with a blue light. “Open up your hand.” River did, and Crowley placed the meteor into it. “There. Now you have your own star.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>River blinked at him, then threw herself into his arms, hugging him tightly. He hugged her back. “You’re welcome, you Clever Girl.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The other person that Crowley found himself growing attached to was Kaylee. This was a bit less than a shock, </span>
  <span>seeing as how she was pretty much his angel in human form. Crowley had never met anyone so relentlessly cheerful and optimistic, who could also be a regular firecracker when provoked. Her love for Serenity was so much like his love for Bentley. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had been in the loading area, leaning on Bentley’s bonnet, when she had come down. “Oh! Sorry, didn’t realize you were having a moment. I’ll go.” She had started to leave, and Crowley stopped her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>No, it’s okay. Come over here. You haven’t really had the chance to meet her properly, have you?” Kaylee shook her head, and came over. Crowley slid off the bonnet. “Open up, girl. Let Sunshine Girl see what you look like?”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bentley’s engine revved once, and the bonnet popped open to reveal the engine. Kaylee examined it, fascinated. “So, is it different from Serenity?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Yeah, but, in some ways it’s the same. Is she hard to look after?” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley grinned. “Nah. Had her for so long she’s become somewhat sentient. She tells me if something’s wrong.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>200 degrees, that’s why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit!”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley blushed. “Yes, and Adam restored you.” At Kaylee’s look, he sighed. “She caught on fire once. Well, exploded too. It was during a...very hectic time in my long, long life. Almost apocalyptic, one might say.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Mr. Crowley?”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Just Crowley, Sunshine Girl. What’s up?”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kaylee grinned. “How come you give us all nicknames? Like you call River Clever Girl, Zoe is Warrior Lady, and so on?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley leaned next to her. “Well, sometimes nicknames are easier. I’ve met so many humans over the centuries that sometimes their names can blend together. But if I assign them a trait, something that makes them unique in my eyes, I never forget them. You lot should feel special. Despite what my angel thinks, I don’t assign nicknames willy nilly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>What about Inara? Does she have a nickname?”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley grinned. “She doesn’t really need one. She’s unique in her own way. Does it bother you, my calling you Sunshine Girl? Because I won’t if it does.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kaylee beamed. “Nah, it suits me. Cap’s always calling me a ball of sunshine. Is that why you call me that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>In a way. You remind me so much of my sun. My angel. He’s as cheerful and optimistic as you, but you and he both have a vicious streak. I’ve heard the arguments you have with Simon.” Crowley gently elbowed her. “Bet the makeup sex is fantastic.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kaylee grinned. “Yeah, it’s pretty great. But you know, you two remind me a lot of Zoe and Wash. Two people who’d you’d never expect to like each other, much less fall in love.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>What, Zoe didn’t fall head over heels for Wash the moment they met?” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kaylee laughed. “Bout the opposite, actually. Wash was hired by Mal to be the pilot, and Zoe took less than a shine to him. He had this awful ugly mustache, and was just loud, and abrasive, </span>
  <span>and</span>
  <span> Zoe is </span>
  <span>the more quiet type. First six months he was on board I thought for sure they were gonna kill each other. Then one day I walk onto the bridge and Zoe’s in his lap, kissing him like her life depended on it. Cap’n walked in about five steps behind me, and well, cat was pretty much out of the bag. Turned out they’d been sneaking around for nearly a month. They got married a year later. Cap’n did the ceremony, as we didn’t have a Shepherd with us at the time.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Sounds very romantic.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>How ‘bout you and Aziraphale?” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley smiled. “I met him on the wall of Eden. He was the Guardian of the Eastern Gate, had a flaming sword. He was...nice to me. I hadn’t really experienced that in a long time. And when he told me about giving away his sword to protect the humans, that was it. I fell for him right then. Fell even harder when he covered me with his wing to protect me from the first rain.” Crowley sighed dreamily. “After it stopped, he asked me if I wanted to come look around the garden. Said he would make sure none of the other guards saw me. So we walked around, and we talked, and then we reached a tree. I think maybe it was a plum tree. And I wanted to kiss him. So I did.” He laughed softly. “I was expecting him to smite me right there. Instead he kissed me back, and pulled me down onto the grass. You can probably guess what came next.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Yeah.” Kaylee said, laughter in her voice. </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>After, we just lay in each others’ arms, talking about plans. We both pretty much nixed the idea of returning to Heaven or Hell unless we had to. The marriage...it started out as a bit of fun on my part. I found a </span><span>bit of grass and made a ring out of it, then jokingly asked if he wanted to marry me.” Crowley sighed. “He said yes so fast that my head spun. So I slipped the grass ring onto his finger, made one of my own, and he put it on mine. We’ve been wearing rings ever since.” He held out his left hand, showing off his ring, a gold one with angel wings. “There were times when we had to disguise them, make them look like something else, but we’ve never taken them off. These we made, oh, about five thousand years ago now. They’re miracled to never tarnish, and we’re the only ones that can remove them. Aziraphale’s is black with red snakes made of rubies.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Yeah, I seen it when he was playing cards with Jayne and Simon. Cleaned them out, too.”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley laughed. “Yeah, my angel is a vicious cardsharp. I learned a long time ago to never challenge him to a game.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later that night, as they lay in each others’ arms, Crowley ran his fingers over Aziraphale’s ring. “I told Kaylee about how I proposed to you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale giggled. “You mean how you blurted out ‘Say, wanna get hitched’, and gave me a rather crudely made grass ring?” Crowley blushed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Yeah. Might have made it seem more romantic, though.”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Well, it worked quite well, I think. Seven thousand years later, and I’m still just as madly in love with you and giddy over the fact that you’re my spouse.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley smiled down at his angel before pulling him into a passionate kiss. “That goes double for me, my angel.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. A Match Made in Space</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aziraphale and Crowley play matchmaker for our stubborn captain and the courtesan.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Seven: A Match Made in Space</p><p> </p><p>“Now don’t tell me you haven’t felt it too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Angel, you know I don’t feel love the way you do.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, but this is..it’s massive, Crowley! And if they keep denying it, what then? They’ll be miserable! We have to do something! They’re the only ones who won’t admit it! The rest of the crew knows how they feel about each other.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright. You wanna take Inara,and I’ll talk to Captain Grumpy?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think that sounds like a perfect plan. Good luck, darling.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I’ll need it.”</p><p> </p><p>Inara was relaxing in her shuttle and deliberately not thinking about a certain infuriating and very handsome captain when she heard a knock on her door. “It’s open!” She smiled brightly at the man shaped being that entered. “Aziraphale! Please, come in. How are you?”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale came in and sat down in the chair across from her. “I’m doing wonderfully, my dear. I don’t suppose you have any tea?” Inara nodded. “Oh, wonderful.”</p><p> </p><p>After the tea was made and poured, Inara spoke up. “So what brings you here?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, just wanted to spend some time with you. I do so love our talks, you know. You’re quite the witty companion.”</p><p> </p><p>Inara smiled. “I’m very well trained.”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale shook his head, sipping at his tea. “No, it’s more than that. You would be the same even without Guild training. Take it from someone who spent a very long time acting the way he thought others wanted him to. You have, as my Crowley would say, a lot of oomph.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, tell him I said thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale nodded, then just as Inara took a sip of tea, asked. “So why haven’t you told the captain you love him?”</p><p> </p><p>Inara coughed, sending tea across the table. Aziraphale looked supremely innocent. “Wha…?”</p><p> </p><p>“I said,” the angel replied, sipping his tea and looking positively, well, angelic, “why haven’t you told Malcolm Reynolds that you love him? You do, don’t you?” Inara started to open her mouth, to deny it, and Aziraphale looked at her over the rim of his cup. “I can sense it, you know. All angels can. This whole ship is awash with love. River for Simon, Simon for Kaylee, though of course that’s a different type of love, Wash and Zoe for each other, even Jayne has bits of it. And you for the Captain, and he for you. Just thought I’d tell you that before you tried to deny it.” He finished his tea and poured himself another, smiling beatifically.</p><p> </p><p>“But. But we fight all the time.”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale laughed. “My dear, you should hear some of the arguments I get into with Crowley. We can sometimes literally light the air on fire when we get angry with each other. But we love each other unconditionally. That’s the sort of love I’m feeling coming from you and the captain.”</p><p> </p><p>Inara was too well trained to blush. “Really?” Aziraphale nodded.</p><p> </p><p>Inara, who was decidedly <b>not</b><span> blushing, poured herself another cup of tea. “</span><span>He’s not who he seems, you know. He projects this air of aloofness, this devil may care attitude, but he’s really sweet, and he cares fiercely for everyone on this ship.” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale leaned forward, eyes alight with the promise of good gossip. “Do tell me more, my dear.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<span>Yo, Captain Grumpy. How’s things?” Crowley sauntered onto the bridge, grinning at Mal. “Thought I’d come up and have a bit of a chat. You don’t mind, do ya?” He slid into an empty chair, draping himself over it. “Nice place.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>What do you want, Crowley?” Mal looked over at his passenger. Good..someone, how could he lounge like that? The man’s spine should be snapped in half. Oh, right, snake. “Look, I’m a busy man, so if you could just tell me what you want to talk about?” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley looked up at the ceiling for so long Mal started to think he had fallen asleep. “The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings, and why the sea is boiling hot...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>What in the gorram hell are you talking about?”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley rolled his head so he was looking at Mal upside down. “Wot, never heard of Alice in Wonderland? It’s a classic! Met the author once. Nice chap. ‘And whether pigs have wings.’ Now, Mal, when do you plan on telling Inara you’re gone on her?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mal sputtered, and Crowley grinned. “I’m not, we’re not, she’s a friend, nothing more, there’s no...feelings, no one’s gone on anyone!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>You know, denial is not just a river in Egypt. My angel sensed it. The love. I can’t sense it as acutely as him, but you don’t spend the better part of seven thousand years married to what is essentially </span><span>a walking, talking beacon of love and general goodness without picking up a few new skills. Inara loves you too, you know.”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mal gulped. “Yeah?” Crowley nodded. “Figured she thought she was too good for me. Then again, she was right there in the thick of it a year ago. Even though she didn’t wanna be. I dragged her back without asking.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>Has she asked to leave?’ Mal shook his head. “If she asked, you’d let her, right?”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Course. I don’t own her. I’d miss her something horrible, but if she wanted to leave, really, truly wanted to, I wouldn’t make her stay.”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>I thought I lost Aziraphale once. He...had a bookshop, and it caught fire, and he was...”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Killed? Thought you lot couldn’t die.”</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley scoffed. “We can, but only by holy water or hellfire. Anything else just...sends us out of our mortal bodies and we have to get new ones. It’s a pain. Aziraphale was discorporated. I thought he had been killed. That pain...it was worse than Falling. </span>
  <span>Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is, you don’t have as much time as we do. We’re eternal, humans aren’t. Don’t wait until it’s too late, Malcolm. For both your sakes.” Crowley slid out of the chair and walked off the bridge, leaving Mal alone with his churning thoughts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“<span>So, do you think it worked?”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>I’ve no idea, Angel. I talked to Captain Grumpy. What’d Inara say when you talked to her?”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Oh, she was rather flustered at first, but then she admitted the truth. She’s been in love with him for a while, you know.”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Yeah, same with him. They’re both dancing around each other. Sooner or later their orbits are gonna collide.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Indeed. Crowley?”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Yeah?”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>You know, I rather think this is a much better anniversary trip than Alpha Centuari.”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Oi, don’t get cocky on me, Angel.” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Well, then why don’t you get cocky with me, my love?” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Angel, that was a horrid pun and I am never having sex with you ever again.”</span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>Really? Not even if I do..this?” </span></p><p> </p><p>“<span>NGK.” </span></p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Parting and Starting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Partings, blessings, and new beginnings.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Eight: Parting and Starting</p><p> </p><p>“Got everything packed, Angel?” Crowley asked. Aziraphale nodded, looking a bit gloomy. “Hey, what is it?” The angel sighed, and Crowley sat up, wrapping himself around his husband. “Come on, tell me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just...I wish we could stay with them. I’ve gotten so attached to all of them over these last weeks, and so have you. And don’t try to deny it. You love that River as if she was somehow your own daughter.”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley sighed. “Why would I deny it? I’m gonna miss her something awful. I’ll miss all of them.” He pondered for a minute. “Well, maybe not Jayne. Won’t miss him. Not after River told me what he tried to do.” He kissed the golden curls. “But you and I both know we’d just be in the way here. Captain has his life, we have ours. And Angel, you would go crackers without having a chance for good food, and I know you miss our home and the shop. And I miss my plants. Poor buggers are probably pining away without me.”</p><p> </p><p>“More like overjoyed that they’re not being shouted at.” Aziraphale said dryly, and Crowley playfully shoved him. “But you’re right. We have to get back to our life. Our Earth. We worked so hard to save it, we can’t abandon it. Although...I have an idea!”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley grinned at his husband’s enthusiasm. “Do tell.”</p><p> </p><p>“River, what are you doing?” Simon watched, confused beyond measure, as River stuffed some clothes in a traveling case. “River, answer me.”</p><p> </p><p>River turned and smiled. “River is going to flow in a different direction for a bit. Going to see new things. But she won’t be gone forever. River will come home, Simon. I promise.” She hefted the case and headed down the corridor towards the loading dock, Simon following close behind.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean, see new things? What new things? Where are you going? Why do you have to leave? What if something happens to you? Does Mal know about this? Do any of the crew? River!”</p><p> </p><p>“Know ‘bout what?” Mal asked, coming down from the bridge. “River, you going someplace?”</p><p> </p><p>“Going with them. Seeing different things. But I’ll come back to Serenity, because this is my home. And rivers always come home.”</p><p> </p><p>“Going with who?!” Simon shouted. River gave him a look. “With..River, you can’t. They’re...they’re not human!”</p><p> </p><p>“Duh.”</p><p> </p><p>Simon turned to Mal. “Do something!”</p><p> </p><p>Mal blinked at him. “What do you want me to do? Your sister wants to leave, I ain’t gonna stop her. She’s old enough to make her own decisions, Doc. Sides, she said she’d be back.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh? And what if those...what if they decide they’re tired of her, and just, I don’t know, get rid of her? Make it so she never existed?”</p><p> </p><p>“Err, make it so who never existed?” Crowley had come out of their room, having overheard the shouting. His eyes went to the case in River’s hand. “Little one, what are you doing?” He asked gently. River smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“Going with you. I want to see new things. I want...” she looked over at Simon, who was hovering nearby, looking stricken. “I need to be apart from Simon for a bit. He still thinks I’ll break. I need to prove I’m strong.”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley smiled and knelt down, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “River Tam, you are one of the strongest mortals I have known in my lifetime. You have endured things that would make others break beyond repair, but you have fixed yourself. Now tell me the truth, my Clever Girl. Do you want to go with Aziraphale and I because you want to see new things, or because you think you have to?”</p><p> </p><p>River blinked, then did something that made Simon gasp in shock. She dropped the case and threw her arms around Crowley, sobbing. “I d...don’t want you to leave, and I thought if I came with you, you could show me the stars, all of them, and tell me their names, and show me how you made them, and...”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley stroked her hair. “Hush, little one. The stars will always be there for you. I will never, ever forget you. And I doubt my angel will either.”</p><p> </p><p>“But I’ve learned so much from you. I want to learn more.” River said, voice muffled against his shirt. “Please?”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley kissed the top of her head. “River, no. You are needed here, more than you would be needed out there. You are the heart of this place. You belong here. This is your home. And remember, little one, Aziraphale and I are eternal. We have seen so many of you come and go, and it is painful, every time. You cannot live a life with us. This is where you belong. I am grateful beyond words that our lives intertwined for this brief period, and always will be.”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale, who had come out and heard everything Crowley said, spoke up. “Crowley’s right, dear River. You belong here, with your family. But we have something for you. Something for all of you.” He handed Mal a small wooden box. “Inside there is paper and pens. I know it’s terrifically old fashioned, but they’re very special. Miracled. If ever you miss us, write, and the letters will find their way to us, no matter where we are.”</p><p> </p><p>Mal took it. Aziraphale gave him a look. “And Captain...Tell Her.”</p><p> </p><p>Mal nodded solemnly. “I will.”</p><p> </p><p>River was still clinging tightly to Crowley. “Please...I don’t want you to leave.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, you wonderful, witty, beautiful child. I don’t know if it was Fate or Her that made us meet, but I am grateful beyond measure that we did. Look at me, Little One.” River looked into the golden snake eyes. “You will always be with me.” He placed a hand on her heart, then took her hand and placed it on his. “Here.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, then spoke in a language older than recorded time.</p><p>“<em><b>I lay my blessing on you, River Tam. May you always find peace.” </b></em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wiping his eyes, the demon stood. “Ready to go, Angel?”</p><p> </p><p>“I am. Captain, thank you for having us.”</p><p> </p><p>Mal shook the offered hand. “You’re welcome. You gonna say goodbye to the rest of the crew?”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley shook his head. “Nah. But tell Kaylee I’ll miss her smile, and...give Book this.” With a flourish, he produced a shiny red apple. “He’ll understand.”</p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale reached behind his back. When his hand returned, it held a feather. “And..give this to Zoe. One retired warrior to another.”</p><p> </p><p>Crowley plucked one of his own feathers. “River, turn around.” She did, and he expertly braided it into her hair. “Perfect.”</p><p> </p><p>They each shook Simon’s hand, then left. River watched them go, tears flowing as Simon hugged her. “River? What did Crowley say to you?”</p><p> </p><p>“He said I would find peace. Always.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Aziraphale looked over at Crowley, who was resolutely staring out of Bentley’s windscreen and not saying anything. He reached over and squeezed his hand, communicating his understanding. Crowley squeezed back, and Bentley drove on through the blackness of space, back to Earth and home.</p><p> </p><p>Inara was reading when the knock came. “It’s open!”</p><p> </p><p>Mal came in, looking rather nervous. “S’pose you heard that Crowley and Aziraphale left.”</p><p> </p><p>Inara nodded. “Yes, I had. I’ll miss them. Oh, please, sit.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nah, that’s okay. Listen, Nara, I have something to tell you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, well, um...I have something to tell you. You go first.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, no, ladies first. I insist.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mal, you have never taken the stance of ‘ladies first.’ You can go ahead, I won’t mind.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, um...how’s about we just say it at the same time? That sound good.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, sure. Count of three?”</p><p> </p><p>“Right. One. Two. Three.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you.” Inara said. At the same time, Mal blurted out, “Say, what would you think of Book marryin’ us?”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>Mal grinned. “You love me?”</p><p> </p><p>Inara smiled. “Well, duh, you great idiot. Have for a while now. And yes, I think that’s a wonderful idea.”</p><p> </p><p>Mal somehow grinned even more. “Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Now, Captain Malcolm Reynolds, get over here and kiss your fiancee.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes Ma’am.”</p><p> </p><p>Serenity flew on through space, and if once in a while the speakers blasted out <em>Bohemian Rhapsody,</em> well, that was nobody’s business but her own.</p><p> </p>
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